Posted from danvanoss.com
After falling into an AutoSeamstress 5500 that was making kilts during a thunderstorm of acid rain, Eugene West awoke to find he not only had pants symbiotically attached to his legs, but the skin of his torso now rejected all other fabrics. When he clicked his heels together, lightning bolts shot from his Talon Zipper. Using this and the ability to shoot light-waves of mind-numbing mismatched squares that blinded anyone with fashion sense, he vowed he would live by his motto: with somewhat limited power comes a fairly measured sense of being responsible for the well-being of others. Slack Power, sucka!